Lovers Lie
by Kri-Kun
Summary: Usagi begins to act differently making Misaki worry. Misaki catches a whiff of fruity perfume on Usagi and immidiately jumps to conclusions, his Usagi has been with another woman.
1. Chapter 1 Loveless

**A/N: Yes... I know, I'm kind of a story whore, jumping from one story to another like I do! But I can't help it! All the ideas distract my writings and then I've grabbed a clean sheet of paper and have already started. I'll do my best to keep up with my death note and this one and my mobile suit gundam seed destiny and tsubasa fics I'm about to put up. I've finished all my big school projects already and am now dying to write. So I absolutely loooove Usagi and Misaki! When Misaki cries FOR Usagi.. Aw-door-able. Nothing cutier than an erotica writer and a boy whose too small for his age. They make me squeal with fangirldem! Well I've got the notice that I've been evidect from my house today.. boo~ so sorry if updates don't happen quick enough.. But it's all good~**

**Chapter One Loveless**

Betrayal can only happen if you're in love (John Le Carre). If Usagi were to ever lie to me I'd want him to tell me. If he were to cheat on me I'd want to hear it from his lips. If he fell out of love with me I'd want to be the first to know.

No matter how it may seem I love that bastard and I would be an emotional wreck if he left me. I think it's time to play good before he becomes bored of me. I hope he doesn't mind the change of pace.

Usagi's large hand ruffling my already messy enough hair makes me cringe from the sudden contact. He pulls his cigarette out of his mouth and puts it out on the ash tray. "The look on your face was too serious."

I can't fight the smile that tugs at my lips as his beams down at me. There's no doubt in my mind that all the love and affection from those eyes is for me.

He sets a novel down on the coffee table infront of me, 'Misaki the Misfit'. "Baka! Quit using me!"

Usagi's eyes flicker with amusement. "You don't like being my muse?"

Well when he says it like that... "No!" I can't help the outbursts, affection it automatically changed into aggression in my mind. What a horrible quirk.

His loud, deep chuckle rolls out of his mouth like nothing can bother him. He toys with his cigarette in the ashtray, gazing at me with those sezy, glazed over eyes. He sweeps his hair to the side and a small smirk appears on his lips. I squeak as one of his favorite pass times is being put into motion.

Usagi stretches and glances at the watch on his wrist, it must not be a time that I can argue my way out of like last time because he's pleased with what it shows. He slowly moves so that he is over me and I'm laying back on the couch. His icy cold hands pin my quaking hands over my head. "Misaki..." his hushed voice calm me as he begins to slowly massage his lips against mine. His teeth devour my upper lip, licking and sucking until they become plump and ripe. Unknown noises escape the contours of my mouth as Usagi's teeth clamp over my plump lips. I squirm under him as he tugs, teasing my mouth with his tongue. He slides the very tip of it in before he pulls it back out. He was trying to get me to play his game of dominance which any other day wouldn't work.

I spread my lips wide against his until they encompass his entire mouth. I begin to suck and the pleasure causes Usagi to emit sounds of approval. His tongue slowly but surely snakes it's way into the waiting depths of my mouth. It was caught mid-suck and my lips close over it. "Aah Misaki..." I rub my teeth gently against it making him jolt. One of his oversized hands finds it's way up my shirt and starts pulling on one of my nipples causing me to gasp making a 'pop' noise as my moist mouth disconnects from his swollen tongue. Usagi removes each of our shirts and then rolls his thumb over one of my hard nibs making me shiver. My eyes flutter shut when his mouth finds the other nub he wasn't toying with. I didn't even try to hold back any noises my mouth decided to make. He coated both of my nubs in his own saliva when they became an angry red color from his touching.

The unzipping of pants jolts me back into reality. My quaking resumes more violently than ever. "U-Usagi-san..." No matter how many times we did this it still hurt everytime, Usagi blamed it on my 'tight buttocks'. He must've mistaken my shaking for gooey, orgasmic shudders because his undressing became fiercer.

He spun me over and my ribs dug into the cushions. He raised me up onto my knees and tears sting at my eyes for what is about to come. He violently pounds into me with his nails breaking into my flash. "Nngh! Usagi-san! I'm begging you to stop!" He ignores my plees and assaults my ass with his too large to comprehend cock.

When he has his release he lets me drop and he gets up and goes to his room, slamming the door behind him making my tears break free. He apparently wasn't into cuddling anymore. He made me feel so dirty and replaceable. Ever since he'd quite telling me he loves me during these intimant momants I only feel pain but when he would tell me all I'd feel was the white hot pleasure.

Usagi had been actigin strange for about a month now. He's been so cold and unkind to me. He won't even touch me unless it'll lead him were he wants, sex. My heart was breaking off one small piece at a time. At this rate I'll become as cold and heartless as Usagi.

Everything was cruel now, even a genuine smile had a cruel undertone. He's starting to scare me and I just don't know how much longer I can stay here like this. Weren't lovers suppose to love and care for each other always? Atleast those were his words when I had refused to hold his hand in publis. It had worked on me than, I wonder if it would work on him now.

I just want to Usagi I love back...

**A/N: Sigh. Yes, I know Usagi is being a bitchhoe. Which actually makes Misaki want more affection since he's getting zero. Poor Misaki... Makes Kri-kun teary!**


	2. Chapter 2 Horrified

**A/N: Kri-kun is here for another dose of Usagi and Misaki!**

**I do not own..**

**Chapter two**

I stand quietly at the stove, stirring a big pot of oatmeal on a burner. My pink and yellow, flowery, frilly apron hangs past my knees and I wotrip on it if I don't watch were I'm walking. I turn down the tempurature on the stove and reach up for two bowls, an oversized bowl for Usagi and a smaller one for me. I scoop out oatmeal into my bowl and lift my apron up much like Cinderella dashing down the stairs. I sit at the empty table and just sit there.

I can't bring myself to eat without Usagi next to me. But I know he won't be down until I leave for school. I sigh and push away my bowl, trying my best to squash this hurt feelings. I know I used to complain about it but I miss him waking up with me and bothering me. You never really know what you have until you lose it.

The bed creaks upstairs but no one comes down stairs, I sigh. I don't even know what I did to deserve such cold treatment. I knew it would come eventually because Usagi works with so many women everyday and I'm sure they could pleasure him way more than I ever could.

I glance at the clock and decide it's time to go so I'm not late for the train. I glance up at Usagi's bear decorated door at the top of the stairs. My heart aches to go up and cuddle into his big strong arms that will protect me from any evil but I don't. I grab my messenger bag and walk out the door before the urge becomes too great.

A spring time dew moistens the air, this is Usagi's favorite weather. My lips slowly curl up at the memory of a spring fair that Usagi had won a bear for me at. It had a special spot in my closet that Usagi will never find out about. I take my sweet time walking to the train station since I left early so Usagi could eat. I knew he was listening for the door to shut and was probably starving.

I buy my ticket from the sweet old lady in the ticket booth and sit on the train. I catch sight of this lovely hetero couple and grow depressed. Their hands are clasped together in between them and their noses are squished against each others while gazing into each others' eyes. It's almost like the noise of the train moving and the passangers doesn't exist to them. I miss when Usagi would wisk me off to some romantic getaway and refuse to leave my side, it used to be hard to get him to leave me at school. I may have batted off his advances but that didn't mean I didn't like them.

The eyes of the couple both look up at me with the that ask the question 'do we know you?'. I lift my hand in a small wave of embarrassment. "You guys look good together." The girl smiles at me and gives her boyfriend the one minute sign and gets up off his lap. She makes her way over to me and I panic, I'm not a people person.

"Hi, I'm Yuki." her smile is bright against her pale face, I suppise I'd classify her as beautiful.

My lip twitches into a half smile. "Misaki."

She plops herself down right next to me, between me and a sticky fingered child. "You look sad. Girl problems?"

"You could say that." I mutter bitterly.

Her smile drops into an understanding grimance. "It'll end, me and Choji got over ours." The smile came back full force. "I'm sure you can get through yours." Her thumb and forefinger come together on my cheek. "Besides you're so cuuute!"

I laugh and pitch forward when the train comes to a screeching halt. She laughs as I hop up onto my feet and dash off. "Good luck, Misaki!" I turn to see Choji and Yuki meeting each other half way. They seem close and Yuki said they had problems in the past, that means there is still hope for me and Usagi.

:::

I pull up a chair next to Sumi in the cafeteria at lunch. I slam my tray and myself onto the chair and table making Sumi jump. In all my classes we discussed tragic stories with tragic endings to match.

"Someone wake up on the wrong side of the rainbow?" Sumi's eyebrows waggled playfully. "Trouble in BL paradise?"

I slam my palms agasint the table and let out a scream of frustration. "You have no idea, Sumi-Senpai!"

He lets out a little grunt of sympathy. "That untrustworthy author getting too handsy?"

The thing is he is but he isn't. "Yes and no." I give the vaguest answer I can.

His eyebrows rise asking me to go on but when I don't say anything else he speaks, "Yes... and... no?" he draws out his words to ennunciate them. "Meaning?"

"Meaning he touches me when it leads to..." I cough. "Sex." I cough again. "But when it comes to affection..." I shurg just letting the sentence remain unfinished.

Sumi's teasing smile grows into a grin. "I could take that pesky author off your hands." He waggles his eyebrows and winks at me but I don't think he's kidding. My stomach tenses and my entire body goes ridged. The hell he will. "That is... only if you don't mind of course." His grin drops slightly. "I mean it's not like you love him right? All you do is complain about him so I just thought..."

My hand clenches in my lep and I try my hardest to calm the urge to hit him. "No, yeah, of course. Give it a go." I snap and stand up, sending my chair flying backwards.

"Misaki!" he calls out to my retreating back. "I didn't mean anything by it! A joke! Just a little joke!" he sounds slightly frantic like trying to calm an aggressive man with a knife.

"Like hell you didn't!" Sumi did mean it and he'd say so on many occasions how he'd 'like a turn on that rollar coaster'. He'd say it without even considering who he was talking to and every time he'd make my blood boil.

I stomp through the quiet hallways like a pouting child. Sumi could really get on my nerves. I did complain about Usagi quite a bit but that was because... well I don't know. Before he went cold he was nicer than anyone else to me. What did I even do to deserve his cold treatment?

I need Usagi-san, my rabbit. The thought hits me like a tidal wave, I ache for his presence even if it lacks love. I crave his attention.

I stp out into a light breeze and run. I run until the thoughts of how tupid this is go away. I run until my feet hurt and I'm soaked in sweat. I run until I see Usagi-san hugging a woman by his car.

I freeze mid-step and dive head first into a bush. They part and both get into his car. Usagi, the gentleman that he is, opens her door. They peal out of the driveway like they're running away from something. Probably me. My heart stops and my breath hitches. Usagi wouldn't cheat on me. Would he? Maybe he'd finally grown tires of me, or just men in general.

I crawl out of the bush and walk into the house on shaky legs, a piece of paper flutters down to the floor.

Gone out with friends. Won't be home until late. Don't wait up.

Usagi.

He signed it Uasgi. Not rabbit, not love Usagi, not even Usagi-san, just Usagi. It's loveless.

I curl up on the couch in the fettle position. I didn't even think Usagi had any woman friends, I could've sworn he didn't, and he said friends as in plural but he was only with one woman. I'd never even seen the woman before. Was she the reason behind his behavior? Was this her fault?

The phone breaks me out of my inner turmoil. I pick it up and a scream greets me, "You lazy ass author! I need that manuscript today!" It hurts my ear but I don't complain.

"H-hi Aikawa-san." My voice quakes slightly with emotion.

"Oh! Misaki! Hello!" I can hear the smile in her voice, she always had had a soft spot for me. Silence fills both our ears from the lack of conversation, maybe Aikawa knew her, maybe she was a new editor, maybe she was helping him with a book. There had to be an explanation, there was no way Usagi would cheat on me. He was the one who created our relationship in the first place. One question would clear the air. "Something the matter?" her voice has a mothering texture to it. Everything is fine now that I'll be able to figure everything out.

"How's the new editor?" I twirl the wire of the phone around my pointer finger.

"The... what?" Confusion is evident in her voice.

"There's no new editor? Oh, is someone helping Usagi on a book?" The worry comes back full force.

"Not at all. Why, Misaki?"

"Usagi-san was getting in his car with a woman, I just assumed. A friend then?" My worry grows.

"Not outside the office and everyones here. What did she look like?"

"I-I don't know, d-din't really look at her." It's like my lungs are filled with cement, I can't get enough air into them. I heave in and out and claw at my neck. "C-can't breath!"

"Calm down Misaki!" her voice has a frantic edge to it. "I'm sure it's not what you think! Why don't I call him? Yeah! I'll figure out what's going on."

"No! I-I don't want him to know I'm upset." I close my eyes and calm my breathing. When it's back to normal again I speak, "I need to win him back.

**A/N: Oh Usagi.. please don't be doing what Misaki thinks you're doing, it would break me little fangirl soul. Atleast now Misaki is going to try to make the relationship right, *sigh* he's a better man than I. I'd slap the hoe, screw love. You cheat, you get beat. Poem by Kri-kun(; Well anyways... hope you're enjoying!**


	3. Chapter 3 Hurt

**Chapter 3**

I layed in my bed with the lights off, waiting for Usagi to get home. He came home around 3 am making me jerk awake from the peaceful dooze I had fallen into. I pulled my blanket over my heard as I heard his heavy steps pause outside of my door. I thought, I hoped, he was going to come in but he just kept on going without a second thought.

I wondered what he'd been doing all night that kept him out so late. My mind wouldn't let me think the obvious, that he'd been out cheating on me with that woman. He wouldn't, or atleast I wanted to think he wouldn't.

I thought that maybe I should go to his room and show him how much I actually do love him. I swung my feet over my bed and placed them on the floor to do just that. My bare feet sunk in the soft carpet keeping me from backing out. I stood and opened my door, it squeaked faintly at me in a mild protest, letting it close with a small click.

I glanced down the long hallway infront of me that would lead me to Usagi's room. I let out a calming breath just hoping he wouldn't kick me out. Not a normal thing to consider when thinking of cuddling up to my baby.

I continued down the hall until I stood infront of his bear covered door. I didn't know if I should knock or just walk in so I stood there, awkwardly shuffling my feet. The carpet kept my bare feet warm.

"Misaki? That you?" Usagi called from the insides of his room. Uh-oh, busted.

"Y-yeah." I squeaked out and cleared my throat. "Can I come in?"

Usagi hesitated for only a second but I still noticed it. "Sure, why not." He sounded reluctant and not at all sure of himself.

I chewed on my lower lip and stumbled into his room, my legs gooey from nerves. He was sitting on his bed with his laptop in his lap, typing furiously, no wonder he didn't want to let me in. I let myself believe that excuse but it was nothing more than a fabricated lie.

"Lots of inspiration?" He just nodded, nothing verbal. I slid off my shirt just to let him no what I was in there for.

"Misaki..." He sighed and shut his eyes like he was dealing with an annoying child.

I shed my pants on the floor as I advanced towards him. "I-It's okay, really."

"No... It's not, you're shaking." He pointed out, making me automactically stop.

Shedding the rest of my clothes, I ignored him.

Usagi was getting angry now, I could tell. "Stop." I ignored him and my embarassment as I crawled up nect to him. He pushed me away but I caught a wiff of something fruity and saw something red on his neck. My mind immidiatlely connected the too and jumped to the conclusion the mark was a hickey. I gasped, he reaked of her perfume.

Tears stung at my eyes as the realization dawned on me, he was cheating and she was his new inspiration. My entire body ached like I'd just been beated. "How could you?!" I spat out the words like they were venom and leaped off the bed, putting my clothes on fasted than they had been taken off.

He didn't say anything, just sat there watching my melt down with a caluclating gaze. My entire world was ending but he didn't seem to care, his eyes were emotionless, none of this mattered to him. I didn't matter to him. Here I thought I was so special but I was just another one of his sluts. "I'm glad you found another muse." I snapped at him. "Because this one's done." I finally recieved a reaction from him, his expression turned into one of hurt.

"Misaki...!" He called after me as I pivoted and exited the room dramatically. He shoved his computer off of his lap and sprinted after me.

When he put a hand on my shoulder I spun to face him. "Who is she?"

He blinked, surpised at the calmness of my voice. "She?"

"That woman. I saw you drive off with her. Don't even try to lie to me right now." I crossed my arms to let him know I meant business.

He sighed and his shoulders slumped. "I can't tell you but it's not even close to what you're thinking."

I snorted. "Of course you can't tell me about your secret lover."

"It's not like that!" He roared out his frustration.

"Oh yeah? Then what's with the hickey and perfume?" My voice had a challenging edge to it.

Usagi glanced down at his neck as if realizing what was on it for the first time. "That's not-"

"Don't even deny it!"

"Let me explain!" He was in a panic, probably from being caught.

"Save it for someone who cares. I'm done talking." I stalked into my room and slammed the door shut with a satisfying bang.

Usagi hovered outside of my door, I could hear his paniced breathing. "What of us?" He whispered through the thick wood.

"Isn't it obvious?" I said, happy that I kept the tremmer from my voice. "We're finished."

He let out a small choked breath but retreated. When I was sure he was gone I opened up my closet and grabbed the giant bear from the back, the one Usagi had won for me. I curled up on my bed with the bear in my arms. It was no substitute for the real Usagi, it offered me no real comfort. I burried my face in it's fur and cried until I had no tears left to shed. Usagi had done the wordt thing he could ever do to me and then lied about it. That was unforgivable in my book. If he had just owned up to his mistake I could've gotten over it and forgiven him. But he didn't, so I couldn't. I don't know if I ever will be able to.

**A/N: **No! My poor fangirl soul..


	4. Chapter 4 Gone Forever

**Chapter 4**

I loaded the last suit case into Takahiro's car. Usagi sat on the front steps miserably chugging an entire bottle of Jack Daniels. I slammed the trunk closed harder than I needed to. "Tell me one thing." I shouted over to him so he could hear me.

"Anything," He tipped his bottle back and drained it dry.

"Do you love her?" I tossed the keys in my hand with my other hand on the driver's door.

"I love you." He squinted at the bottle hoping for more alcohol to just appear out of no where.

"That's not what I asked." I gave him a half hearted smile. "See you around, Akihiki Usami."

Usagi gazed over at me. "Does this make us strangers?"

"Yeah... I guess it does."

"That's too bad."

"Good luck," I laughed a little. "A little advice, hire a cook and maybe a maid as well, maybe even a babysitter." I grinned a little at the last part.

"I won't give up you know." His forehead wrinkled with his determination.

That was the Usagi I loved. "I never expected you to. That's just not how you operate."

"Your next boyfriend better own a gun factory."

"I'm done with guys, you'll be my first and last, my only one."

"That's too bad." His words sounded sad but I could tell he was secretly pleased that he'd be my one and only boyfriend even if we weren't together anymore.

"I look forward to our next encounter, I know we'll meet again very soon. I have no doubt about it." He'd most likely pay top dollar to have me tracked down if not forcibly brought back.

"I love you, Misaki, and I'll do my very best to be worthy of you again."

I hesitated but only for a second, the words were just so natural. "I love you too, I don't think that'll ever change. Nobody ever forgets their first love." Usagi waved as I drove away. What I said was the truth, part of my heart would always belong to the one known as rabbit.

**A/N: **Ah angst..


	5. Chapter 5 Living Without You

**Chapter 5**

I arrived at my brother's place and immediately felt like I didn't belong. Takahiro had a family now that I wasn't a part of, this would definitely take some getting used to. I wanted to go back to Usagi but my damn pride kept me here. My feet slid over the plush carpet bringing me to my room.

For days I stayed locked inside of that room, never venturing out not even for food. Sometimes Takahiro would worry and slide some packaged food items under the door but I rarely ate them, they just sat in a pile on my floor. Smartly I didn't take the bear Usagi had given me because if I had I'd never let it go, I'd become like a child and take it everywhere. Not that I went anywhere now-a-days.

I loved Usagi and nothing or no one could ever change that. I wouldn't be able to move on even if I tried. It's a pity so young and I won't be able to fall for someone else. I'd spend forever weeping over some guy who didn't even care enough to tell me the truth.

My lower lip quivered as I finally let myself think the words. "Usagi cheated on me. With a woman none-the-less." My voice cracked and the words caused a new wave a tears to flow out. A sob wracked my body as I tried to control myself.

'Calm down, Misaki.' I chided myself. 'He's not worth it!'

But the truth was he was, is, worth it. He's worth every tear, every heart break, every hushed spoken word. He's worth it all and more but I gave him up. I gave him up because of some petty suspicion. I didn't even know if it was the truth. I hoped to god it wasn't the truth that somehow he'd prove it to me. But I didn't know, my heart told me to go to him but my brain shouted at me to stay, to let him suffer as much as I am.

Would I ever be able to forgive him? The thought popped into my head at random and I thought about it. Hesitantly I admitted to myself that yes, I probably would be able to forgive him. But it'd take awhile for him to win my trust back because a relationship means nothing if there's no trust involved. I'd ask him to stop seeing her of course, I didn't even want him to be friends with her. My possessiveness slightly startled me, I didn't know I could be like this. Well, after all, Usagi was my first love.

Love, the word put a smile on my face. Usagi taught me to love, he taught me everything to love. After I admitted to him I loved him we started to do everything together. At school I always looked forward to my rabbit picking me up. It was what helped me get through the day.

_"Misaki." Usagi drawled out with a small smile on his lips, he took a final drag off his cigarette before putting it out._

_"Usagi." I replied formally, trying to fight the smile off my lips. But it was no use, my lips stretched upwards. Usagi embraced me and I halfheartedly tried fighting him off. Rabbit did love his PDA. I blushed when I noticed people staring but Usagi was blind to them all. His eyes were only on me. I liked to think he had eyes only for me but who was I kidding? He had needs that I couldn't meet. _

_He lowered his head and his lips covered mine, I hadn't expected it. Subconsciously my body melted against his and I got lost in the kiss. Now I was the one that didn't care about the stares. This was me and Usagi, against the world forever. _

The memory brought a smile to my lips. I missed me rabbit, I missed him greatly. But maybe.. Just maybe it was time to start looking for someone who could give me the same feelings he could. But I doubted there was anyone that could do that better than Usagi.

**A/N: **my fangirl soul might break if they don't get back together.


End file.
